Ego and God's need for worship

I'm an Objectivist. I subscribe to Ayn Rand's philosophies of good and evil and the nature and greatness of man and free will.

I subscribe to her ideas of rational self interest or The Virtue of Selfishness.

I also subscribe to her premise that contradictions cannot exist. She said in "Atlas Shrugged":

"Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a
contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is
wrong."

In my previous post, I suggested that:

I also believe that a benevolent god wouldn't care whether someone worshipped or
even acknowledged him. It would be enough for his "grace" to simply be a good
person who consistently, honestly tries to improve themselves and the world
around them by upholding and promoting values that are in line with that god's
values. Worship would not be one of those values. A desire for worship is an
egotistical thing, and a benevolent god would not be egotistical.

Since contradictions can't exist, I'll check my premises.
Premise One: A god that desires worship is egotistical.
Premise Two: An egotistical god is not benevolent and good.
Premise Three: Egotistical (to me, and in my context) equals pride.
Premise Four: (My belief) Pride is a good thing, when deserved. It is ok to be proud of your accomplishments and worth.

Here is where the conflict exists: I believe that a "proud" god who desires worship and adoration could not possible be good and benevolent. I also believe that I can be good and proud at the same time. I can be good and desire others to recognize that I am good and successful and worthy of praise.

Both can't be true. Either pride is good or it is evil. The bible teaches us that pride is evil(http://www.24-7-bible.com/American-Standard-Version.html?BibleSearchTerm=pride&BibleBook=100&bibleOffset=1), yet God desires praise and is therefore proudhttp://www.24-7-bible.com/American-Standard-Version.html?BibleSearchTerm=praise&BibleBook=100.

So, can this be reconciled? I believe it can. In order to do so, we have to accept a couple of temporary hypotheses:

Hypotheses #1: God is all-powerful (note: I am not saying that this is true. I am only reconciling a specific contradiction in my philosophy. I'll constantly use the word "if" in my discussions. Because I don't know the truth.)
Hypotheses #2: Man is not all-powerful

Here is a fact that is important in this discussion: Pride is referred to in the bible primarily in the context of man (or Lucifer in one case) considering himself "better than God." The bible does not, as nearly as I can tell, equate pride with our more modern definition that is primarily related to a high sense of self worth, dignity or value. The bible is referring to pride as an unfounded, arrogant, inaccurately high sense of self worth. Inaccurate is the key here.

So, with that fact in hand, let's examine the statements. If God is all powerful, and man is not, then God is "better" than man. That does not say that man is bad. So, any man who thinks that he is better than God would be wrong. God, on the other hand, if the hypothesis were true, would naturally be better than any man. Therefore, would have the right, under my beliefs, to place himself "above" man.

If you believe as I do, that being wrong about something contributes to our own personal weakness, or even destruction, and that anything that contributes to our own personal weakness or destruction is evil, then according to my beliefs, misplaced pride would be evil. It blinds us to the possibility of improvement. So a man believing that he is better than an all powerful god would be suffering from his pride, and that pride would be evil, because it contributes to his own weakness.

On the other hand, if God is all-powerful, then He deserves his sense of self worth. But if there is a possibility that God is not all-powerful, then He doesn't.

I'm not going to even attempt to go after that one just yet. I'm just getting started on this whole theology thing, and am not equipped to reason that one out yet.

My mind sometimes works faster than my fingers. I'm a pretty smart guy, and I'm proud of that fact. I don't view that as an evil pride. I am a smart guy. That is a fact. I derive a great deal of pleasure and self-worth from the fact that I am a smart guy. I don't for one second believe that I'm the smartest guy in the world. That would be the bad version of pride, and would limit me and my thinking, because I would have to believe that only my own thoughts and interpretations were correct. I would have to deny the possibility of truths that I didn't yet understand.

My point is this: The concept of a benevolent god who is proud and requests acknowledgement and praise is not antithetical (sp?) to itself. If there is a Benevolent god, then it's okay for he/she/it to say, "Hey, I've done a lot of stuff for you. Would you give me a little credit here?"

So, to sum it up, after checking my premises, I've decided that Premise #2 is false. An egotistical (or proud) god who requests acknowledgement and praise is not inherently evil, so that god can be benevolent. Chalk one up for rational thinking. God, if you are reading, you get a point on this one. But we ain't done yet.

The follow up question, which I'll have to address another time is this: Can a benevolent god request acknowledgement and praise, with no proof? Or is god willing to prove his existence and abilities, and the nature of his power to mere mortals in a quantifiable, scientifically measurable manner before requesting that praise and acknowledgement.

In other words, "What's the deal with this Blind Faith thing?"
I believe that blind faith is evil, because it contributes to our destruction, and weakens our mind and free will.

But, I've got work to do, so I'm not gonna tackle that one yet.

Before I can come to rest on some of these beliefs, I'm going to have to address Blind Faith. I'll get there, eventually.
(Hint: I'm not so sure that blind faith is required, but I don't know yet.)

More about me

If anyone is reading this besides me, you might want to know a little bit more about who I am and where this all came from.

I'm a guy in my early thirties. I own a moderately successful business, and consider myself a rational, thinking person.

I believe in the inherent good of mankind. In other words, I believe that people are basically good, and that good people do sometimes do bad things.

I'm an atheist. I don't believe that there is a god. I believe that man created god in his own image, and as time has progressed, man's definition of god has changed, according to his current needs.

But I've got this little conundrum: Of all the people in my life, with only one exception, those people that I respect and admire the most have a powerful belief in God and an amazing faith in their religion. These people walk and talk in a different way from me. They handle life's challenges in a different way, by turning their problems over to some phantom deity who they believe guides them to success.

I find this interesting.

I believe that we should find those people in life who are most like we want to be and emulate them. Do what they do, only better.

And these people aren't the types of people we generally think of when we think of "religious types." These are true believers. They don't just "talk the talk." They walk the walk. I admire their faith.

One of them recently told me that they admire the fact that I openly state that I don't believe in God, but at the same time, respect other people for their faith. That spoke to me.

I can't stand a hypocrite. I'll have nothing to do with them. The religious people in my life are not hypocritical by nature. They may sometimes be by accident. Good people sometimes do bad things.

I don't believe in god because I believe that if there is an all-powerful, loving, benevolent god, then that god would make himself know to us in obvious ways. He would make it easy for us to believe. He wouldn't want us to doubt and he would make it apparent that we don't have to.

I also believe that a benevolent god wouldn't care whether someone worshipped or even acknowledged him. It would be enough for his "grace" to simply be a good person who consistently, honestly tries to improve themselves and the world around them by upholding and promoting values that are in line with that god's values. Worship would not be one of those values. A desire for worship is an egotistical thing, and a benevolent god would not be egotistical.

But here's another question for conflict. New post. More about me later.

The first real philosophical ramblings from my journal

You can't prove a negative. So, you can't prove that god doesn't exist. However, you can make a rational evaluation of your own belief in god.

This journey, for me, is about focusing on my belief, or non-belief.

I'll start with this premise:
The question of god's existence is the most important question in life.
If God exists, then it is vitally important to believe, and to understand his nature and "requirements."

Or is it? It is possible that God exists, and does not care whether we believe and act in a specific way.

So, if that is the question, or if there is a debate between the tow, then maybe the most important question is: "Is there eternal life?"

In order to answer that question, we must answer another question: Does the soul exist? Is there a part of our conscious or unconscious self that transcends and lives beyond the physical world as we know it?

What evidence do we have that a "soul" exists? Does anecdotal evidence of paranormal "hauntings" play a part?

These, if true, could be a manifestation of souls, or a manifestation of some other being that is either good or evil by our "Judea-Christian" standards.

--------- Added for this posting ---------
Last Sunday, I started down this path. I did some reading on the famous "21 grams" anecdote and found some interesting stuff (http://www.snopes.com/religion/soulweight.asp). I find it curiously amazing that this experiment has not been repeated. If anyone has any info on this, please post a comment.

I don't suggest that anything here is proof of a soul, but it does raise interesting questions. My thoughts have moved on for the moment, but I'm sure I'll come back to this later.

My First Journal Entries

I made this entry on the first page of my journal. It was a list of questions I wanted to answer at the start. The questions may change, but they are the starting place.

1. Why should I believe in god?
2. Does eternal life exist?
3. If it does, how does one achieve it?
4. How does God factor into this?
5. Does eternal damnation and suffering exist?
6. If eternal life/damnation do not exist, then what role does religion play in our lives?
7. Does the soul exist?

I may modify this list later. I probably will.

-----------New Questions--------------

1. Does the bible ask for Blind Faith?
2. Is Blind Faith good or evil?

Getting Started

Here's the deal: I'm an atheist. I don't believe in God. But I want to, and I'm looking for proof. But, more than I want proof and belief, I want truth.

A good friend and trusted advisor of mine recently defined truth as Absolute.

A philosopher who I admire and agree with greatly has said "A is A" and "contradictions cannot exist."

My friend is a devout Christian.
The philosopher was an unwavering Atheist.

But on the nature of truth, they agree. When it comes to the question of a god, they have found a different belief in truth. One of them may have the real truth. If so, then the other does not. It is also possible (even probable) that neither of them do.

I started out by keeping a journal (only one entry so far), in writing. But I read something today that brought me a step closer to a decision. I'm going to write here as often as I feel the need to put down my thoughts on this subject. Today, I'm writing two or three posts. I'm interested in comments from anyone who stumbles across this blog, atheist or theist. I don't care what your beliefs are, what religion you follow or don't follow. The only thing I ask for is respect. This is a very personal journey for me, as it is to every thinking person who embarks on it. Respect my (and other's) beliefs and conundrums. Argue points, but do so respectfully.

I believe we all want to know the right answers to the question of a god, the soul, of eternal redemption. So, if you want to throw your two cents in, go ahead. But be open to my thoughts and the thoughts of others.

I'll quote scripture when it needs to be quoted. This is my diary and my journal. I hope someone else finds my mental ramblings useful.

The next post will be a word for word transcription of the notes in my journal to date.